i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
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