Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you win again, gameday.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
