Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I need help removing her.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
