I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
