he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
