Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I am naked and annoyed.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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