i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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