Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
