I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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