There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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