covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
