and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
