Whod you bang
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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