Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
