Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
