somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
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I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
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Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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