A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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