We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
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bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
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She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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