Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
