it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
third nipple confirmed
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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