Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
