I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
