Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize