Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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