Cold hands, warm shart.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
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