so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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