a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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