another moral hangover. fuck.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
