you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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