I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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