but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
