I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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