I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
