4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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