Me. At least after what I've been through.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
This baby is an asshole
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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