i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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