What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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