so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
