I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
