I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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