I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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