$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
