How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
