I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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