Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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