I'm gonna have a badass scar
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
