Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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