Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
