Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
