Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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