she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
