i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
