I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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