Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
