I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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