I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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