Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
