DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
