i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
