Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The adults are the big ones right?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
