3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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