how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize