I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
